HANBLECHEYAPI/VISION QUEST
Friday February 27 -- the beginning of my first Hanblecheyapi or Vision Quest...
my shamanic teacher, Debra, arranged for four of us to have this experience at the Center for Healing Arts-- she and Marcus, her husband, rearranged a room, taped black plastic on all the windows and it was here that we would stay for 24 hours with no food, water, in silence...waiting for our "vision"!!
The Hanblecheyapi is a Lakota Indian rite of passage and is usually done out doors-- it typically goes on for at least two days and more often four or more days.
"The purpose of a vision quest is for the participant to receive guidance from the spirit world. Depending on the dream and the images presented within the dream, the participant is guided to make important life choices. In many cases, a person experiencing a vision will receive guidance from their particular animal spirit." [go here for more information]
Friday found me finishing my prayer ties-- these are small squares of red cloth that are filled with tobacco, and cornmeal, or sage and then made into bundles and actually tied together -- each bundle contains a prayer ...traditionally there are 28 ...but there can be more. Prayer ties are also used in the Sweat Lodge.
I wasn't nervous until I arrived at the Center and then the realization sunk in that i was going to be stuck in this room with three friends in total darkness and silence for two days!!I have to admit that i really felt just a little bit sick to my stomach... i had two blankets..one for me one for the floor, my mesa, two pillows, and several of my "sacred" stones.
At 7:00 pm the lights went out and the Quest began. My nerves kept me going for a while and i actually thought -- "gosh this really isn't so bad".... that thought however did not last the two days....
It is hard to even begin to explain what transpired during the 24 hours..i know i fell asleep for a while-- my dreams were weird and strange-- kind of unnerving yet not scary. I found myself thinking about many things... and then i was led to get stones from my mesa and place them on my heart, throat, and third eye... i also held a stone from peru for almost the entire time.
the floor was HARD and my back felt like knives were being stabbed into it ... even my knees hurt... i was very uncomfortable and found myself tossing and turning almost every second to find relief from the pain but no matter which way i turned the pain followed....
time seemed to stand totally still... the darkness engulfed me and i couldnt discern space, time, or much of anything.
crawling to the bathroom was weird too trying to find the door knob--the perception of how far a door opened was totally askew... the coolness of the tiled bathroom floor brought some relief from the heat and at least i was moving -- i was doing SOMETHING.
there were several times i just wanted to leave... i saw myself just crawling out the door-- leaving my bedding and my belongings and somehow finding my way out to the light-- to my car-- and going home -- not telling anyone -- just leaving--- but then as suddenly as that thought came into my mind it disappeared and i found myself praying -- praying for everyone and everything-- rapists, murders, people who were ill, my family, myself, the Taliban... i prayed to pass the time... i didnt know what else to do....
i asked for my "vision" several times-- i begged--i pleaded-- i just wanted it to be over---i said i surrender -- i give up-- but nothing-- nothing came-- or if it did i certainly wasn't aware of it--
i pretended that i heard Marcus coming to open the door and tell us the time was here to leave...but of course he never materialized...and then i heard a voice-- it was Debra-- i dont know what she said all i know is that i heard a human---- and i knew then that the time had ended-- it was over--
we sat in the darkness but at least could talk and laugh and somehow that was very comforting--
there is more i could write -- but part of this is personal-- and part is the mystery--
all i can say is for those of you who are considering this --- go on and do it--- u are surrounded by Sacred Space- -- u can see what u are made of --- and perhaps u will get a vision -- a vision of your life's purpose--- thee and christine did have visions-- they realized it after the quest had finished ---- it took a couple days for the realization to come into focus--
will i do this again? at first i was saying a loud NO-- but i may try it again -- perhaps the next time we can do it outside-- that would be interesting-- nonetheless - i know what to expect now-- so it might not be as hard the next time--
posted by radclyffe @ 3/03/2009 12:00:00 PM
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